Early November at Fun Fun Fun Fest, one of the most hipster music festivals, while watching people in the same outfit as he glow over the same bands as he, Davy turned to me and admitted, ashamed, that he must be a hipster.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving: I met a sweetheart who creates adorable woodland plush creatures, who has the  thickest business card ever that she letter pressed herself, and who, like me, affectionately teases hipsters.

This is how how the only hipster I know who isn’t annoyingly hip became an official hipster in the form of a teddy bear– tattoos, favorite shirt, facial hair, and everything. He arrived in the mail the other day, sprang out of his box, and good ol’ poked fun at Davy. (When we love somebody, sometimes we have to poke a little fun at them.)

Davy and I are both loving this little guy. Big thank yous to Felicia of the shop Let’s Be Friends for creating the teddy bear version of my main man!

Useful, that’s exactly what Cesar Millan’s collection of puppy experiences, “How to Raise the Perfect Dog: Through Puppyhood and Beyond,” is. Though I’ve read reviews of the book that claim it isn’t a How To book, I’ll disagree. The most important thing this book stresses is obtaining a calm-assertive energy to become your dog’s pack leader, and once we’ve established that, everything else comes easily. It never specifically mentions how to prevent your dog from chewing on your sneaker laces, like Miss Sally Pickles enjoys, but it does affirm that once we’ve projected the right energy, she’ll magically back off and do the right thing. And so far, it’s true. It works. It may become redundant to be told to maintain a calm-assertive energy, and the writing style itself may be a bit of a conversational bore, but it definitely holds the hand of the reader through this crucial learning experience.

The ideal reader of this book is a soon-to-be puppy owner (regardless of breed; Millan adopts four types of pups and demonstrates how calm-assertive energy will work across the board). I began reading this a couple days too late, but Davy and I’ve already adopted many of the Dog Whisperer‘s words of wisdom. Though we’ve both had dogs our whole lives, the way we’ve each raised them was completely different, and that’s something Millan references in most chapters in terms of puppy health, puppy education, or puppy socialization. Davy grew up babying puppies, like most Americans do; and I grew up with a strict Dogs Are Dogs Are Animals rule, typical of Mexicans and Mexican Americans. Learning the ideal balanced combination of our histories from Millan is allowing us to better raise a dog that will be loyal to us and wait for commands, or in other ways, raise the perfect dog.

If there’s any sporadic blogging on the horizon, it’ll be this girl’s fault, her and her obedience training.

– Stephen Colbert: “so bizarre, you don’t know what to do except get high and sit in a room with a blacklight and a poster.” Here The New York Times foray into Colbert’s multi-persona sharing intimate facts, like that his father and two of his 11 siblings died in a plane crash when he was only ten years old. In spite of the tragedy, Colbert is a master of parody who introduces younger folks to rhetorical analysis of politics. (I’ll never forget my first day of college, discussing Colbert’s “Truthiness” in class alongside Steven Pinker.) This article explores how Colbert has gotten himself into interesting scenarios.

– The Ultimate Ghoul, necrophiliac Ed Gein: disgusting and interesting. This link is for adults only. It’s gross, horrific, but if you’re like me and have a secret fascination/ repulsion with serial killers, you’ll have trouble not reading it.

Body parts excited him and he had no trouble having them in his home, no matter what their state of decomposition. From the bodies he dug up, he cut off the heads and shrank them, putting some on his bedposts. He also formed lampshades from the skin. Storing the organs in the refrigerator, and possibly cooking them, he made things like soup bowls out of the bones for his own use. Sometimes he had sexual contact with these bodies (though he denied it), and eventually he just went ahead and dug up his own mother. Rather than get a sex-change operation, he simply made himself a female body suit and mask out of the skin, and he would wear this outfit to dance around outside. Sometimes he even donned it to dig up a grave.

– Woman bites children at bookstore. She’s being charged for felony child abuse, thank goodness.

– On product placement in films, specifically Purell’s role in Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. In a torture scene, the bad guy cleans his hands with Purell. Everyone assumed this was paid product placement, but it wasn’t. The bad guy just liked sanitized hands. This scenario leads The Atlantic to examine the extent of product placement. If real life people are surrounded by brands, should movie characters also be, even if a specific company doesn’t endorse it? The majority of viewers assume any visible name brand product in a film or TV show is endorsed to help fund the show, but is that okay? What are the implications of product placement?

– Apartment Therapy. Hasn’t this site been around forever? I’m late to the party, as usual, but I’m glad I came. I’m in the middle of puppy proofing my apartment now, and this site is saving my life (and the life of our puppy!). It’s all about making the most of space and keeping everything cool-looking; no, Ikea can’t compete.

– Jonah Weiner talks with Louis C.K. Here Louis C.K, one of my favorite living comedians, gets real. We find out his father is Hungarian and that Louis C.K. was raised in Mexico City. There’s stuff about working hard at KFC and, later, a video shop, and how he started working in comedy. He’s a no shit kind of a guy, and after reading this, I admire his work even more. (By the way, that link is a transcript to what would become this article for GQ, but the article sucks for its vagueness in comparison.)

– WHAT PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON READS. Excuse my all Caps, but I’m excited because the selected books sound awesome and give insight into the making of one my personal fave U.S. presidents. (Off topic: Is it Mitt Romney who’s been saying since July that he’s just finished reading a book? Or is it Newt? Either way, why aren’t presidential candidates reading anymore? At least President Obama reads; here’s one of many lists online of books he’s read.)

– How to be more interesting in 10 simple steps. Some of these steps are obvious, basically instructing us to EXPLORE and TRY and GROW A PAIR. Sometimes we need to be told over and over again to do these things. (When I say “we” I’m talking about myself. I’m the least interesting lady, and sometimes I need to be reminded of stuff like what’s on this list.) The coolest part of this list is Jessica Hagy’s graphs– simple, mathematical, and to the point.

– Solitude is a catalyst for innovation. As connected as we are, group thinking and group brain-storming bruises our room for creative and intellectual growth.

– The coffee shop where everyone pays for everyone else’s drink.  I had a few people do this when I was a barista, but never to the extreme of this example. I’m sharing this link because it’s important to not forget– as I sometimes do, and I’m sure I’m not the only one– that people are awesome. Maybe we could take note and try to be awesome, too.

– The ignorance of the most highly informed. On Clay A Johnson’s “The Information Diet,” a book I’d like to read, about why we should consume less media. What’s relevant to this very post is the act of clicking on links (that’s what this feature is all about, guys). When we click on something online, we make it more visible to others. “That means an information diet is something that’s of ethical consequence to you and others.” Johnson suggests maybe we should take a break from it.

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I’m on the job prowl, guys, submitting resumes and cover letters left and right. (By the way, are you hiring? ‘Cause I can do everything. Nope, that’s not an exaggeration. And no, I’m not so vain in real life. Yes, please hire me. I’m not accustomed to being unemployed and I’m bored and I’m such a hard worker, I swear. Email me at nancy.lili.g@gmail, and hire me.) When I’m not hunting for work, I’m killing time and scouring the web for cool reads like these.

Enjoy!

I am one of the top ten finalists for this year’s Austin Chronicle‘s Short Story Contest. My short story, “The Empanada Break,” beat out about 600 other submissions. You know what this means? This means I’m not terrible! I have potential! In fact, I’m pretty good!– How re-affirming and nice to know! As you may know, I’m a poet at heart, so knowing I can crank out a well-tuned piece of fiction warms my cheeks. In a few more weeks, I’ll find out whether or not I’m one of the top three finalists. Though I hope in my knees and teeth that I am one of the top three finalists– because wouldn’t that rule?!– I’m incredibly excited that my story made it this far.

Invite: If you’re in Austin and you’d like to join me on the night I discover whether or not I’m one of the lucky top three, please be at BookPeople on Wednesday, February 8th at 7pm. There’ll also be a reading by the winners and some food and wine. I’d appreciate all support and encouragement.